Difficult people are everywhere!
The more people you are around, the more difficult people you are going to find, that’s how it is, and you know that.
So you want to develop a skill as soon as possible in your project management career to deal with difficult people, because these skills you are going to use probably everyday.
Been able to deal with difficult people will have significant impact on your success as a project manager.
Most people are difficult once in a while, but there is hardcore minority of people that are really difficult to manage and it does not take any conceivable reason for them to being difficult to work with.
Self-control is key, its all about in control of your emotions and been in control of the situation.
In this post I have listed out few practical ways of dealing with difficult people.
Definition of “Difficult Person”
A person who routinely exhibits one or more of the following behaviors:
- Hard to work with or manage
- Do not adhere conventional social or organisational rules
- Is a disruptive or disturbing element to others
This is a fairly broad definition.
Please note, difficult person is NOT somebody who disagrees with you. Disagreements are important part of projects.
Disagreements give us an opportunity to consider a holistic view of a situation.
Behaviors of “Difficult Person”
Here are some typical behaviors that a difficult person might exhibit:
- Routinely Misses Commitments
- Does not return phone calls or emails
- Communicates rudely
- Refuses to follow directives
- Treat others abusively
- Undermines Team cohesion
- Is overly aggressive
- Self centered and does not play well with others
- Generally disrespects team members
Why are some People Difficult?
Some of the reasons cited in Psychology on why people become difficult to manage are:
- Overworked. Overwork may cause impatience, stress and anxiety
- Feeling insecure
- Unhappy in Life
- Rebelling against some event in the past
- Lack of sufficient skills to do the job. This may cause frustration and some people may vent out this frustration on others
- Unaware of their improper behavior, so they take it for granted.
Practical Tips in Dealing with Difficult People
- Take time to pause. Pause before responding. Your words matter, and once they are said, you can’t take them back. Focus on good outcome, be it business or relationship
- Examine your behavior – Are you part of a problem? Where is your responsibility in all this? You may not have control of others but you can change you. I can fix me but I can’t fix you!
- Put yourself in their shoes. Demonstrate Empathy. What are they going through? What is the hardship they are facing? Where this negativity coming from? How are they feeling about the situation? How would you react if you were in their shoes?
- Be willing to Listen. When you patiently listen to others, walls start coming down. The other person feels more important when you listen. They begin to feel you care about them.
- Be candid about the issue. If someone is acting as spoiler in the meeting, you would want to tell that person about his behavior. Set expectations and careful with tome of voice, expression and body language
- Your behavior affects the situation. Remain calm, maintain cool and slow down cadence of a conversation. Keep your voice low and don’t become defensive, angry or desperate
- Choose your battles wisely. You are giving lot of your energy and time to this difficult person. Ask yourself if investment is worth it. If not let it go!
- Don’t let others control you. Take control over your own emotions and thinking.
- Seek alternative actions, such as:
- Do nothing
- Avoid difficult person if possible
- Raise a formal complaint
- Involve your boss or other management
- Deal with aggression firmly. Do not tolerate verbal or physical abuse.
- Expect some conflict. How you deal with conflict directly relates to your overall success
- Practice meditation. Meditation calm nerves, lowers heart pressure and reduces stress
Summary
Managing difficult people on projects involves maintaining a positive and empathetic approach while addressing the root causes of their behavior.
By doing so, you can improve teamwork, communication, and overall project outcomes. It is important to remain calm and not take difficult behavior personally, as this can help you navigate these challenges more effectively.
Offering support and understanding can often transform a difficult situation into an opportunity for growth and collaboration.
